The Mother Shit

I've come to the conclusion, that we as humans have to do what we hate in order to do the things we love.
For instance, my Mac took a major shit! I can't afford a new one so I work at a lousy job so I can afford one someday. Today I opened my paycheck and it was for 44 hours of work at a whopping 398.00. Fuck man I remember the days when I could make that much cash in one 3 hour photo shoot, along with a few hours of downloading and photo shopping, but that's fun and it's a cake walk compared to my lousy job at , well, lets call it "The Mother Ship" I don't want to slander or anything.
So now maybe your thinking, how did Alex get in this mess? Well it all started out with loosing everything by making bad decisions. Yes at one time I felt like I had it all. Money, a killer house, a cool husband that let me do whatever the fuck I wanted, and great animals. Not to mention my photography business was on a climb and my fine art shows were getting great reviews. I had the confidence of a queen. Well that all ended with a shitload of bad business decisions and a husband with a huge ego. Anyhow, It's all gone and Hell why not get rid of the husband while my chips are down and I've just had it with everything.
Well, starting over is rough especially when one has the confidence of an ant. What the fuck happened to me? I need to find that inner strength and get back on my game. Sure I have a bit of an excuse, School kinda full time so I can better myself, but I don't even have the bills to buy the goods I need for the skills I have so I have to eat crow and work a piddly job so I can get all the latest and greatest equipment so I can get back on my game. At this point in my life I feel like a shell of myself. Sure this may sound like a pity party , but give me a fucking break! I don't recall sending you an invite.
Sure, I got off on a rant and that's okay, isn't this what blogging is all about?
I am grateful though for all the things I do still have. A loving mother, 2 dogs that use me for food when I do get a chance to see them and and estranged husband that not a dick.
Well, till next time,
Cheers,
Absolutely Alex