What the fuck went wrong? Is there a crimp in the system? Are you there God, Gods, Jehovah, Virgin Mary, Buddah , Santa? it's me Alex. I'm not one for prayer but I need something....tequila bottle?
My depression is in full swing and I'm doing my best to keep clear of the Prozac.At this point I fear for my own safety. I'm learning not to care and it shows, I do my best to hide the pain but, It's quite evident when one looks into my eyes, the light has been shut off. What happen to me? I can remember the days when I felt as though I had the skin of a Rhino and nothing could stop me. I was once invincible.
I haven't felt this low since I was a teenager. I could use some help but asking is not an option, it never was. One must just deal with it. I hope it passes sooner than later. I don't want to go back on meds but I don't feel as though I have a choice.
I have always though of depression as a private thing. It's almost a pitty party, I don't want a pitty party because it would take way too long to create the damn invitation. I am at a loss and at this point I need a calgon bath to take me away.
Maybe some Thrifty Ice Cream, Jenate' Splash, I don't fucking know.
Oh wait I know, I need some fucking money. They say that Money is the root of all evils, I just say "money is the root" we create our own evil so stop blaming it on money. Money isn't evil, it just makes life easier to move forward. The best things in life are free? Bullshit! It's a known fact that people don't appreciate things that are free. Work hard for what you need/want and it will be far more appreciated than something that was given for free. Look at my brother for instance, he is living rent free in a 4 bedroom house, he has absolutely no appreciation what so ever! My little sister has been given everything in life, she is also a person that doesn't appreciate a damn thing. Dude, I have a bunch of lazy asses in my family that don't appreciate what they have because they are spoiled rotton.
Come to think of it , maybe I'm not depressed, just beyond angry at the fucking system. What the hell? We as human beings are so damn spoiled. Excess, that's all we know. Can't we just go back to simpler times? I want to go back to the Leave it to Beaver days, but only because times were so much simpler. No cell phones, virtual friens, color tv, internet, dish washers, x-box, calculators. What ever happened to the abacus? Writing out a letter and dropping it into the mailbox? What ever happened to outdoor activities? Human contact?
Fuck it, I can't deal, Prozac it is.
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